Winter

Ecclisiastes 3:1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--

Winter by Tori Amos
Snow can wait I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winterI put my hand in my father's glove

I run off where the DRIFTS GET DEEPER
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice "You must learn to stand up for yourself
Cause I can't always be around"

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter MELTS
Flowers competing for the sun
Years go by and I'm here still waiting
Withering where some snowman was

Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace
But I only can see myself SKATING around the truth who I am
But I know dad the ice is getting thin

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna CHANGE so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Hair is grey and the fires are burning
So many dreams on the shelf
You say I wanted you to be PROUD of me
I always wanted that myself
When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast

All the WHITE HORSES have gone ahead
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear Never change
All the white horses

I'm in the season of winter. I read a great devotional the other day about the changing of seasons and how the process of change was created by God and serves a specific purpose. I know winter is coming because I begin to withdraw from others and seek a lot more alone time journaling. I also begin to seek God more and question areas in my life that I'm not satisifed with.

I can't say that being in the season of winter is fun and it never comes at a good time. Often winter for me is a cold, lonely, dark place and I must travel it all on my own, this lesson I've learned well. Oh, I could bring others with me but they would not survive my journey, and in the end, we would be forced to part bitter ways.

I used to fear this season... and would dread it's coming in my life... however, I've begun to realize it's purpose and I've learned how to prepare. For me, my winter protection is the Bible and the loving arms of God for I know no matter how dark and cold it gets He is there the moment I need Him. It is a season of strengthening, just as the trees are strengthened so that they can bloom in the spring. My season always ends with me being happier, rejuvinated and most importantly stronger.

The most difficult and challenging part about this season for me is holding onto relationships that are important to me. Too often, I somehow end up destroying friendships without meaning to... however, I'm learning... and sometimes I have to take a break from my season of winter to build a nice cozy fire and invite people in.

I don't know how long this season will last. All I ask is for is patience, because soon I'll be in the season of spring - the season of joy and happiness and lots of laughter. I just hope I don't cause too much damage along the way. Someday you'll have your season of winter and although it will differ from mine - I will be there at the end of your journey with a nice big mug of hot cocoa and lots of hugs.

Fuel

James 3:5-9 (NLT) - In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. (6) And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. (7) People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, (8) but no one can tame the tongue. (9) It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God."

"Sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God." When I curse someone made in the image of God, I am cursing God, since essentially He created the person I am cursing.

My biggest realization lately is that I am not always the one doing the cursing, and that sometimes I allow my ears to become someone else's garbage can. Often, what I don't realize is how easily I then fall prey to taking up someone else's offense.

There is a difference between listening to someone who is seeking advice and listening to someone who is just wanting to whine and complain. I think I am being a good friend by just listening, but I'm learning now how much it actually affects me, my relationship with God, and my relationship with the people involved.

By the same token, I have seen how much my whining and venting about others has also affected relationships. More often than not, and very humbling to admit, I am just looking for a sympathetic ear because I love to whine. I DO THIS ALL THE TIME!!!!

Why? Why do I curse people made in God's image? Especially knowing that according to verse 6 my tongue can set my whole life on fire. And yet, I constantly fuel the flame with my whining using the excuse that I'm venting, and I allow others to do the same. The thing is I always feel horrible afterwards. What I thought would be cathartic always leaves me feeling guilty and full of shame. That's how I know it is sin, and I run to God asking for forgiveness.

Although, I know God has forgiven me, the damage has been done, and fuel has been added to the fire.... a fire that starts out as a burning ember, just waiting for a little spark.

The Power of Orange Knickers

Sometimes we go into battle fighting the wrong enemy. But, we soon find out is that this enemy is actually our closest ally.

Who is this terrorist that smiles so kindly? This battle we believe to be our hardest one yet. We know for certain that underneath their petticoat their knickers are blue and our knickers are orange, and orange and blue knickers do not associate.

Perhaps this person is a husband or a wife, and the battle is the kids or how to run the house. Maybe this person is a co-worker who we view as more talented and qualifed than we are. It could be a mom or a dad who only wants what is best for their child.

But, what if the person is someone we've never met, someone we've only heard about through other people? We pass judgement and make a decision about the person based only on what we've heard about them. We view them as the enemy.

And so, we step into battle with our protective armor on, our swords outstrechted, ready to take the stance. And slowly, we begin the battle... only, the other person doesn't know that we are in full on battle mode. Instead, they begin to smile, and laugh. We try to pick up our sword and it is too heavy, and they come up beside us and help to lift the sword, still not understanding that the sword is meant to inflict harm on them.

We are surprised and thrown off guard by this sudden turn of events. And slowly, ever so slowly we begin removing pieces of our armor, still believing at any moment that the other person is going to draw their dagger and take us out. But, then they don't... instead, they begin to compliment us, and ask us for advice... and then, they show us their knickers and they are orange like ours.