The Power of Orange Knickers

Sometimes we go into battle fighting the wrong enemy. But, we soon find out is that this enemy is actually our closest ally.

Who is this terrorist that smiles so kindly? This battle we believe to be our hardest one yet. We know for certain that underneath their petticoat their knickers are blue and our knickers are orange, and orange and blue knickers do not associate.

Perhaps this person is a husband or a wife, and the battle is the kids or how to run the house. Maybe this person is a co-worker who we view as more talented and qualifed than we are. It could be a mom or a dad who only wants what is best for their child.

But, what if the person is someone we've never met, someone we've only heard about through other people? We pass judgement and make a decision about the person based only on what we've heard about them. We view them as the enemy.

And so, we step into battle with our protective armor on, our swords outstrechted, ready to take the stance. And slowly, we begin the battle... only, the other person doesn't know that we are in full on battle mode. Instead, they begin to smile, and laugh. We try to pick up our sword and it is too heavy, and they come up beside us and help to lift the sword, still not understanding that the sword is meant to inflict harm on them.

We are surprised and thrown off guard by this sudden turn of events. And slowly, ever so slowly we begin removing pieces of our armor, still believing at any moment that the other person is going to draw their dagger and take us out. But, then they don't... instead, they begin to compliment us, and ask us for advice... and then, they show us their knickers and they are orange like ours.

The Painter

People are not expendable. I think too many times we give up on people because we don't feel they are worthy of our time, efforts or energy. They are not going to bring anything to our already overly complicated, busy lives.

Sometimes, I think we view people as works of art. We see someone's life and we think we know how we can make it better. We take it into our hands what we believe to be this marred painting that is bleak and has nothing to offer and we try to turn it into our own masterpiece. And when we begin to see that the masterpiece is not turning into what we had hoped, we begin to tear it down and shred it up, until all that is left is a million little pieces that we can sweep under the rug. People begin to annoy us, they don't have the qualities we are after, and we wish they would just go away. This masterpiece that we once devoted so much time and effort to, is now just a nuisance. We begin to resent them for not turning into our masterpiece, until eventually, we abandon them and want nothing to do with them - ever.

We took what we saw as a marred piece of art and thought that we could refine it and make it into a masterpiece, when in reality, God is the only one who can do that. We are just merely the medium which God uses... there are so many torn up pieces of art that need to be put back together and accepted for the beautiful masterpiece they already are, the masterpiece that God created.

We cannot abandon any work of art simply because they don't fit into our agenda.

Pictures of Success

We all have our pictures of success. Those proud moments in our lives forever captured in a photograph. For some people it is a wedding day, the birth of a new baby, the job promotion, graduation or a first car. The thing is, no one ever has pictures of failure. Those moments in our lives when we made a bad decision, chose the wrong people to be friends with, were hateful towards someone or destroyed a relationship.

Our pictures of success are reminders to ourselves. Reminders that we have value, we're worth something and we can accomplish things. But, what happens when we cling to these pictures too tightly for too long? Sometimes we cling to them for so long in fact, that they become our identity, and this is how we want the world to view us. The danger in clinging too them for too long is that we get stuck where we are and never move foward.

Or, even worse, we refuse to admit that perhaps, right now our lives are a picture of failure. We wake up one day and realize we're fat, we're broke, our relationships have fallen apart, we haven't accomplished any of the things we set out to do 5 or 10 years ago. So we continue to cling to our pictures of success, because we believe it is easier to live in the past, to look at our past accomplishments rather than face the future.

The thing is, that our pictures of failure did not develop overnight, anymore than our pictures of success developed overnight. Our pictures of success, while taken in a single moment, are actually the culmination of a series of events leading up to that moment. The wedding day is a result of meeting someone, falling in love, a proposal and then the wedding. Graduation is the conclusion of years of study and gaining knowledge. This same principle is true for our pictures of failure.

We did not get fat in a single moment. We didn't go broke in a single moment. Our relationships did not fall apart in a single moment. Instead, all of these things are a result of a series of events that led us here. Eating too many calories, failing to budget properly, allowing oursleves to drift apart in our relationships.

To create new pictures of success, we must first stop clinging so tightly to our old pictures. They should only serve as reminders of the things we can do and the places we can go. You can lose the weight and be that thin girl again in the photo. You can recapture the love and admiration you had for the person in your wedding photo. You can create new pictures of success..... the Bible says it is healthy to do so ;).

Toureffe's Syndrome

I attended my first ever roller derby last night. I've been excited all week about going. Part of me wanted to go because I'm in search of a new hobby, part of me wanted to go because I had made a new friend and I wanted to show her my support, but mostly I wanted to go because I wanted to fit in.

One stumbling block in my personal walk with God has been that I have never felt as if I ever really fit into the Christian Mold. I've always felt more comfortable around people who drink, swear and ride Harleys. Over the past 13 years I've learned to say the right "Christianese" phrases, say "Amen" at the appropriate times and listen to Christian music. Still, I always found myself going back to my bad girl roots no matter how hard I tried to become a "Christian."

Perhaps that is why I worked so hard to go to Bible school, onto a private Christian Univerisity and have worked for a Christian Company for the last 10 years. I worked really hard at surrounding myself with Christians, because anytime I got around non-Christians my bad girl self would come out. Inevitbly I would end up feeling guilty for having too much fun, and so I would run, literally run back to my safe proverbial Christian bubble and lock my bad girl away. This was the only way I was every going to be a good Christian.

What I discovered last night at the Roller Derby is that I totally fit in. I loved being surrounded by all of these girls with their bad girl images tattooed right on their arms. They were having so much fun being who they really were, they were not pretending to be somebody they are not.

The truth is, that I have grown more spiritually in the last 6 months than I have in the last 13 years of being a Christian and 2 of those years were spent at in intensive Charistmatic Bible school. This spiritual growth has been due to the fact that I've totally been seeking after God and discovering who He is. I have not tried to become a better Christian. As I have sought God, all of the other things have sort of fallen into place.

As I watched all of the derby girls skate and as all of the spectators around me drank I realized something else. I realized that I can't judge them for making roller derby their passion or even drinking their passion. They are looking for fulfillment and for purpose and meaning in their lives. The same thing that all humans long for. How can I judge them for that? We all want something to be passionate about, a reason for living. Thank God we have had someone in our lives who shared with us the truth about Jesus.

I hope that now that I really have the truth I can share it with others. I love what Pastor Scott said this morning, that when we learn the truth about being Forgiven by God, we will in turn forgive others. I learned that lesson recently but that is for another post.

Comic Book Tatoo

I finally recieved my Tori Amos limited Edition Comic Book Tatoo Anthalogy. In the back of the book Tori posted an afterward and in it she talks about how art is the portal to freeing the mind from religious bondage. This is true to some extent, but still there is a danger in freeing the mind too much.

The coolest thing has happened to me recently. Anytime I start to struggle with an issue, inevitibly I find my answer in one of Pastor Scott's sermons. Lately I've been struggling with whether or not I'm being a good Christian or a bad influence. Am I listening to the wrong kind of music, saying the wrong things, wearing the wrong things. Perhaps I should immerse myself in Christian Pop-culture and that I would be an effective Christian Witness. Ah but alas, I digress.

God created me. Eph: 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." He created me with all of my idiosyncracies, likes, dislikes, etc. To be an effective Witness and lead others to Jesus I really just need to by myself. That's not to say that I should behave and act any way I want which would be to be selfish, unkind and greedy. I should work to exercise the spiritual gifts of kindness, patience, love and generosity.

The sermon this past Sunday was about making the message of Salvation and of Jesus Simple. For Jesus came for the spiritually sick Matthew 9:9-12. Salvation is not based on the fact that we as Christians don't drink, smoke, swear or listen to rock music. The Salvation message is based on love and entering into a personal relationship with God.

It's so simple really, and yet some Christians want to make it so complicted. They want to make it about self righteousness which inevitibly leads to hypocrisy. No one is without sin. The Bible tells us this and we all know it is true.

I'm not suggesting that I'm now free to do and say whatever I want. However, I am free to be myself, to grow in my relationship with Christ, and by so doing help lead others to Christ. This is what Jesus' life on earth was all about - leading people to God and into a relationship with Him. His life was not about telling people to quit smoking, drinking or swearing.

Dresses

Sometimes life can be full of surprises. I have been surprised by 3 very special people over the last six weeks. I would not trade the time I've had with them for anything in the world.

They will always have a very special place in my heart, and now as things come to a close I see my life coming back into it's normal existence. Although I am sad they are all leaving, I am looking forward to the routine I once had.

Having such a short time with them makes it all that much more special to me, because you can have too much of a good thing. It's like owning your favorite dress that you only wear on special occasions - you cherish the dress, you wrap it in tissue and keep it in a special box hidden away and bring it out only when it truly matters.

Anyway, to the three of you (you know who you are), thank you so much for gracing me with your beautiful, individual personalities. I love each one of you, and today I'm putting my "special dress" back in it's box. I hope that one day, I'll be able to bring it out again.

Under the Blacklight

Under the Blacklight, it is so easy to hide the things about ourselves that we don't want others to see. Yet, those things are still there, hiding, waiting for the right moment to come into the light.

We can go our whole lives living under the blacklight, never facing those things which are prohibiting and blocking our path to the things that God has in store for us. If we continue to pursue Him and dedicate our lives to Him, then he is going to expose those things. Not because He is mean, but because He loves us so much.

I have learned a great deal about myself the last few weeks. Things I've known were always there, but I chose not to deal with them, instead, I hid them Under the Blacklight.

One of the biggest things that I'm learning is that to be an effective Christian Witness to others I don't have to walk around preaching the Word all of the time and shoving scripture down people's throats. Instead, I need to use the Word of God as my guide and take away from it Wisdom and Truth in dealing with situations.

I've always been quick to say, "The Bible says." Instead, what I should be doing is leading by example, and then when the opportunity presents itself share the Truth. Being a Christian is not about "preaching" the gospel, so much as "living" the gospel. We all know the old saying about our actions speaking louder than our words. This is definitely true where the Bible is concerned and in becoming Christ like.

Things don't always work out the way we expect them too, either. I feel as if I've failed a million and one times in the same areas, but I think it is just the Lord saying "I really want to create this perfect work in you." I love what Pastor Scott said about dealing with the same issues over and over again. We conquer the battles for awhile, but we end up facing them again. Each time though we grow stronger and stronger.

All of my life I felt that I needed to have arrived at a place of perfection by the time I was 30. However, if this is what God expected from us, He would not have given us the life expectancy that we as humans have. We may never arrive to that perfect place, instead, we must continue on the journey, and take things one step at a time.

I've made some mistakes recently in the area of friendship, but the thing is I am trying. I had a post awhile about not exercising the gift of friendship called Dried up Prune http://arecoveringchristian.blogspot.com/2008/04/dried-up-prune.html and this post is actually a follow up to that previous one.