31 Today

I will be 31 in a few days and I am still single, and it does not depress me!!! In fact, I'm totally loving it!! The single life has been a hot topic of conversation lately, I think mostly due in part to the movie He's Just Not That Into You.

I for one have known my whole entire life that should I be destined to be single forever I could totally be content with it. Yes, I do desire to get married and have a family, but there is also something very appealing to me about living the single life and there always has been. Singleness is a gift and a blessing, just as marriage is a blessing and a gift. However, like any gift, both can be taken for granted and abused.

With that being said, let me share a couple of scriptures regarding being single.

Matthew 19:10-12 Jesus, disciples said to him, "If this is the case, it is better not to marry!" "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said. "Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunichs, some have been made eunichs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 32-34 "I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about earthly responsiblities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided, in the same way, a woman who is no longer married has to think about her earthly responsiblities and how to please here husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible."

What I get from both of these scriptures is not that Jesus or Paul is saying that one blessing is better than the other. They are both blessings, and each reaps its own benefits, each requires its own sacrifice and commitment.

In either situation, married or single, we can choose to live for ourselves, which is not what God intended. Many pastors have said that this is one reason marriages fail, each person in the relationship is living for themselves and not for the other person.

When you're single you don't have to live for anyone but yourself. But notice, both Paul and Jesus said that being single was for the beneift of the Kingdom, not for just receiving out of life what we want. We as single people are still called to love and serve one another and even more to a greater extent than those who are married.

There are things learned in marriage about God and having children that single people don't learn. And there are things that a single person learns about God that married people don't learn. Since I only have the perspective of a single person, and I'm almost 31, for sure I have gained some wisdom along the way, which I will save for another post.

I will close with this. Many of the great woman I admire, while not Christian, married later in life. They are very successful woman, who lived life for themselves to achieve what they wanted. I think the common thread among them, is that they realized that living for themselves and achieving success was not fulfilling. While they will never experience complete fulfillment without God, they did learn a Biblical Truth, whether they realize it or not. And how many of us know that the Bible is profitable to all, even if they don't know God? But, alas, I digress, I shall save that for another post. The truth these women learned is that our lives have meaning when we are living, loving and serving others. Just listen to Dr. Laura (a woman who married late in life), and she will tell you this is true.

I am 31, single, and totally rocking it!!!!!!

Christian Feministas

I am single for several reasons. One major reason is because I have chosen to be. Let me explain.

I chose to pursue a career. I chose to further my education. I choose to spend all of my time in ways that are not conducive to dating and married life right now. I have chosen to become an independent, self-sufficient woman.


And I know why I have made all of these choices. One reason is because I have been a feminista. I did not have a healthy father/daughter relationship growing up. This I believe is an important key. There is so much to be learned about guys and their gender specific roles and this is best learned in a healthy father/daughter relationship. They are the ones who are to protect and lead. To learn more about men's and women's roles read Jessica's blog http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/04/bible-chauvenist-propoganda-pt-1.html and http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/05/bible-chauvinist-propoganda-pt-2.html.


Since I never had a man in my life who I could lean on, trust and depend on, I decided I would have to become independent and self sufficient and take care of myself, and I have, quite successfully actually.

I am a recovering Christian feminista. This has not necessarily been a bad thing. In fact, having realized how I made my decisions has helped me to accept and be content with where I am at at this point in my life. I know that soon my choices will change and I will be ready and able to embrace those changes.

Rock Star Wives Pt. 1

It has been my observation that many Christians marry at an early age. If this is the case, what is the age when one becomes a proverbial "Christian Old Maid."

While yes, it can be argued that there are some who will never marry and that both Jesus and Paul admonish the single life "Matthew 19:12-12; 1 Corinithians 7:32-34", statisitically 90% of Christians will marry at some point.

With that being said... why am I and so many of my Christian friends still single? Yes, it is true people are marrying older and older in life, but really this excuse can only last for so long.

Is it perhaps because we "good" Christian girls are faithful to church, while our guy counterparts are less likely to attend until after they are married.

Or what about the question - Is it Gods' will? Is it God's will that I marry or does His plan for my life involve staying single forever?

Am I not cute enough, flirty enough, giving enough? Am I too independent? Too strong? Too self-sufficient? Too confident? Too ambitious? Too accompolished?

Interestingly enough I watched a show on E True Hollywood Story about Rock Star wives. The show interviewed Rock Star Wives who have been with their husbands throughout their whole career. For example Alice Cooper has been married to the same woman for 0ver 29 years and has remained sober. Johnny and June cash are another great testimony to a long marriage.

The most interesting thing that wives said was that they had to be strong, independent and self-sufficient women. At the beginning of their careers, these rock stars were often addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually had to go to rehab. Had it not been for their strong wives behind them these musicians never would have made it through.

Strong, independent, self-sufficient women.

The truth is that most of the women I admire for their great accompolishments married later in life - Dr. Laura and Tori Amos are just a couple of them.

I think once a woman discovers her strengths it scares guys. Woman truly have all of the power. Look at all of the power Eve had over Adam. She didn't force him to eat the apple. She offered it to him.

(To be continued.)