I am single for several reasons. One major reason is because I have chosen to be. Let me explain.
I chose to pursue a career. I chose to further my education. I choose to spend all of my time in ways that are not conducive to dating and married life right now. I have chosen to become an independent, self-sufficient woman.
And I know why I have made all of these choices. One reason is because I have been a feminista. I did not have a healthy father/daughter relationship growing up. This I believe is an important key. There is so much to be learned about guys and their gender specific roles and this is best learned in a healthy father/daughter relationship. They are the ones who are to protect and lead. To learn more about men's and women's roles read Jessica's blog http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/04/bible-chauvenist-propoganda-pt-1.html and http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/05/bible-chauvinist-propoganda-pt-2.html.
Since I never had a man in my life who I could lean on, trust and depend on, I decided I would have to become independent and self sufficient and take care of myself, and I have, quite successfully actually.
I am a recovering Christian feminista. This has not necessarily been a bad thing. In fact, having realized how I made my decisions has helped me to accept and be content with where I am at at this point in my life. I know that soon my choices will change and I will be ready and able to embrace those changes.
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1 comment:
jess says...
i never heard "feminista" before.
in a conversation with a very wise friend of mine the other day, she brought up that she wondered why most sermons are geared toward "moms, dads, and kids"...like...what about singles? i mean if singles have to sit through a marriage sermon "in the event that they will one day marry" then why can't the marrieds listen to a series on single people sermons "in the event that they lose their spouse and become single again?" it's a very important thing to consider.
the reason: we aren't supposed to be self-sufficient independents. however, either are we to be co-dependents. we are supposed to be Christ-sufficients. people fail and we need to learn Christ's purpose for our lives, even if a spouse lets us down or dies. you know...it becomes really dangerous in the situation of the latter, b/c it's so easy to venerate that dead spouse and get angry at God. we really need to learn how to be single so that we don't fall into that trap!
no wonder there are so few 25-34 year old singles in the church.
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