I will be 31 in a few days and I am still single, and it does not depress me!!! In fact, I'm totally loving it!! The single life has been a hot topic of conversation lately, I think mostly due in part to the movie He's Just Not That Into You.
I for one have known my whole entire life that should I be destined to be single forever I could totally be content with it. Yes, I do desire to get married and have a family, but there is also something very appealing to me about living the single life and there always has been. Singleness is a gift and a blessing, just as marriage is a blessing and a gift. However, like any gift, both can be taken for granted and abused.
With that being said, let me share a couple of scriptures regarding being single.
Matthew 19:10-12 Jesus, disciples said to him, "If this is the case, it is better not to marry!" "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said. "Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunichs, some have been made eunichs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."
Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 32-34 "I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about earthly responsiblities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided, in the same way, a woman who is no longer married has to think about her earthly responsiblities and how to please here husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible."
What I get from both of these scriptures is not that Jesus or Paul is saying that one blessing is better than the other. They are both blessings, and each reaps its own benefits, each requires its own sacrifice and commitment.
In either situation, married or single, we can choose to live for ourselves, which is not what God intended. Many pastors have said that this is one reason marriages fail, each person in the relationship is living for themselves and not for the other person.
When you're single you don't have to live for anyone but yourself. But notice, both Paul and Jesus said that being single was for the beneift of the Kingdom, not for just receiving out of life what we want. We as single people are still called to love and serve one another and even more to a greater extent than those who are married.
There are things learned in marriage about God and having children that single people don't learn. And there are things that a single person learns about God that married people don't learn. Since I only have the perspective of a single person, and I'm almost 31, for sure I have gained some wisdom along the way, which I will save for another post.
I will close with this. Many of the great woman I admire, while not Christian, married later in life. They are very successful woman, who lived life for themselves to achieve what they wanted. I think the common thread among them, is that they realized that living for themselves and achieving success was not fulfilling. While they will never experience complete fulfillment without God, they did learn a Biblical Truth, whether they realize it or not. And how many of us know that the Bible is profitable to all, even if they don't know God? But, alas, I digress, I shall save that for another post. The truth these women learned is that our lives have meaning when we are living, loving and serving others. Just listen to Dr. Laura (a woman who married late in life), and she will tell you this is true.
I am 31, single, and totally rocking it!!!!!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Christian Feministas
I am single for several reasons. One major reason is because I have chosen to be. Let me explain.
I chose to pursue a career. I chose to further my education. I choose to spend all of my time in ways that are not conducive to dating and married life right now. I have chosen to become an independent, self-sufficient woman.
And I know why I have made all of these choices. One reason is because I have been a feminista. I did not have a healthy father/daughter relationship growing up. This I believe is an important key. There is so much to be learned about guys and their gender specific roles and this is best learned in a healthy father/daughter relationship. They are the ones who are to protect and lead. To learn more about men's and women's roles read Jessica's blog http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/04/bible-chauvenist-propoganda-pt-1.html and http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/05/bible-chauvinist-propoganda-pt-2.html.
Since I never had a man in my life who I could lean on, trust and depend on, I decided I would have to become independent and self sufficient and take care of myself, and I have, quite successfully actually.
I am a recovering Christian feminista. This has not necessarily been a bad thing. In fact, having realized how I made my decisions has helped me to accept and be content with where I am at at this point in my life. I know that soon my choices will change and I will be ready and able to embrace those changes.
I chose to pursue a career. I chose to further my education. I choose to spend all of my time in ways that are not conducive to dating and married life right now. I have chosen to become an independent, self-sufficient woman.
And I know why I have made all of these choices. One reason is because I have been a feminista. I did not have a healthy father/daughter relationship growing up. This I believe is an important key. There is so much to be learned about guys and their gender specific roles and this is best learned in a healthy father/daughter relationship. They are the ones who are to protect and lead. To learn more about men's and women's roles read Jessica's blog http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/04/bible-chauvenist-propoganda-pt-1.html and http://andnarrowistheway.blogspot.com/2008/05/bible-chauvinist-propoganda-pt-2.html.
Since I never had a man in my life who I could lean on, trust and depend on, I decided I would have to become independent and self sufficient and take care of myself, and I have, quite successfully actually.
I am a recovering Christian feminista. This has not necessarily been a bad thing. In fact, having realized how I made my decisions has helped me to accept and be content with where I am at at this point in my life. I know that soon my choices will change and I will be ready and able to embrace those changes.
Rock Star Wives Pt. 1
It has been my observation that many Christians marry at an early age. If this is the case, what is the age when one becomes a proverbial "Christian Old Maid."
While yes, it can be argued that there are some who will never marry and that both Jesus and Paul admonish the single life "Matthew 19:12-12; 1 Corinithians 7:32-34", statisitically 90% of Christians will marry at some point.
With that being said... why am I and so many of my Christian friends still single? Yes, it is true people are marrying older and older in life, but really this excuse can only last for so long.
Is it perhaps because we "good" Christian girls are faithful to church, while our guy counterparts are less likely to attend until after they are married.
Or what about the question - Is it Gods' will? Is it God's will that I marry or does His plan for my life involve staying single forever?
Am I not cute enough, flirty enough, giving enough? Am I too independent? Too strong? Too self-sufficient? Too confident? Too ambitious? Too accompolished?
Interestingly enough I watched a show on E True Hollywood Story about Rock Star wives. The show interviewed Rock Star Wives who have been with their husbands throughout their whole career. For example Alice Cooper has been married to the same woman for 0ver 29 years and has remained sober. Johnny and June cash are another great testimony to a long marriage.
The most interesting thing that wives said was that they had to be strong, independent and self-sufficient women. At the beginning of their careers, these rock stars were often addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually had to go to rehab. Had it not been for their strong wives behind them these musicians never would have made it through.
Strong, independent, self-sufficient women.
The truth is that most of the women I admire for their great accompolishments married later in life - Dr. Laura and Tori Amos are just a couple of them.
I think once a woman discovers her strengths it scares guys. Woman truly have all of the power. Look at all of the power Eve had over Adam. She didn't force him to eat the apple. She offered it to him.
(To be continued.)
While yes, it can be argued that there are some who will never marry and that both Jesus and Paul admonish the single life "Matthew 19:12-12; 1 Corinithians 7:32-34", statisitically 90% of Christians will marry at some point.
With that being said... why am I and so many of my Christian friends still single? Yes, it is true people are marrying older and older in life, but really this excuse can only last for so long.
Is it perhaps because we "good" Christian girls are faithful to church, while our guy counterparts are less likely to attend until after they are married.
Or what about the question - Is it Gods' will? Is it God's will that I marry or does His plan for my life involve staying single forever?
Am I not cute enough, flirty enough, giving enough? Am I too independent? Too strong? Too self-sufficient? Too confident? Too ambitious? Too accompolished?
Interestingly enough I watched a show on E True Hollywood Story about Rock Star wives. The show interviewed Rock Star Wives who have been with their husbands throughout their whole career. For example Alice Cooper has been married to the same woman for 0ver 29 years and has remained sober. Johnny and June cash are another great testimony to a long marriage.
The most interesting thing that wives said was that they had to be strong, independent and self-sufficient women. At the beginning of their careers, these rock stars were often addicted to drugs and alcohol and eventually had to go to rehab. Had it not been for their strong wives behind them these musicians never would have made it through.
Strong, independent, self-sufficient women.
The truth is that most of the women I admire for their great accompolishments married later in life - Dr. Laura and Tori Amos are just a couple of them.
I think once a woman discovers her strengths it scares guys. Woman truly have all of the power. Look at all of the power Eve had over Adam. She didn't force him to eat the apple. She offered it to him.
(To be continued.)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What if?
Matthew 5:3 - 10 NLT "3) God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. 4) God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5) God blesses who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. 6) God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. 7) God blesses those who are merciful for they will be shown mercy. 8) God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. 9) God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. 10) God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of heaven is theirs.
Lately it seems that there has been a lot of searching going on, searching for purpose, for answers, for direction. Not only in my own personal life, but in regard to our country and to the entire world.
I've been of the mindset mostly, that it doesn't matter how things transpire in this life. Especially when it comes to politics. And what do I care about the environment since Jesus is coming back soon and then all of us good Christians are going to go to heaven?
And what if I have been wrong this whole time? As I read Matthew 5 I realized it says God blesses each of these people and the word bless is used in the present tense, not in future tense. It does not say they will be blessed when they get to heaven, but that He blesses them.
With that being said, what if my whole concept about Christianity has been wrong? What if the gospel is more than just preaching salvation, although salvation is a very fundamental and key principle of the gospel.
And what if the things I do here are meant to be more than just to earn another jewel in my crown, or to earn a bigger mansion. And what if Heaven is actually closer than we think? And what if our purpose is so much more?
And what if when we pray "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" that prayer affects so much more than just my own personal life? It affects those around me and the entire world.
And what if I have been very selfish? "I am saved, phew I'm going to make it in to Heaven. Sorry all of you suckers who don't believe and have never prayed the sinners prayer, and don't even know whaalst salvation means. I've got a free ticket to Heaven."
And what if the gospel is more than just a political message? And what if God wants to raise up people who can help to make our politics a little less corrupt?
And what if it's not all about me? What if it's also about the children working in slave camps in China, or the homeless person living on the street, or the mother who is dying from aids in Africa?
And what if I have become so focused on my goals, my achievements, my success, my education, my money that I fail to see the needs of others? Others that are unable to help themselves.
And what if I get upset because I feel God has not blessed me like he has the person sitting next to me in church? Is that what Christianity is about, me being blessed?
And what if the gospel is more than just a bumper sticker formula as Pastor Scott put it.
What if the gospel is real and raw? It does have the power to heal, to save, to restore, to bring hope to a dying world who are lost.
And what if being lost is defined by more than just someone living in sin who doesn't go to church? What if being lost is truly defined by what it is... being lost from God and stumbling around trying to find their way back home, their way back to Him. Not because of their sin, but because their is no one out there to help them find their way home.
"I have found my way... you are on your own."
What if?
Lately it seems that there has been a lot of searching going on, searching for purpose, for answers, for direction. Not only in my own personal life, but in regard to our country and to the entire world.
I've been of the mindset mostly, that it doesn't matter how things transpire in this life. Especially when it comes to politics. And what do I care about the environment since Jesus is coming back soon and then all of us good Christians are going to go to heaven?
And what if I have been wrong this whole time? As I read Matthew 5 I realized it says God blesses each of these people and the word bless is used in the present tense, not in future tense. It does not say they will be blessed when they get to heaven, but that He blesses them.
With that being said, what if my whole concept about Christianity has been wrong? What if the gospel is more than just preaching salvation, although salvation is a very fundamental and key principle of the gospel.
And what if the things I do here are meant to be more than just to earn another jewel in my crown, or to earn a bigger mansion. And what if Heaven is actually closer than we think? And what if our purpose is so much more?
And what if when we pray "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" that prayer affects so much more than just my own personal life? It affects those around me and the entire world.
And what if I have been very selfish? "I am saved, phew I'm going to make it in to Heaven. Sorry all of you suckers who don't believe and have never prayed the sinners prayer, and don't even know whaalst salvation means. I've got a free ticket to Heaven."
And what if the gospel is more than just a political message? And what if God wants to raise up people who can help to make our politics a little less corrupt?
And what if it's not all about me? What if it's also about the children working in slave camps in China, or the homeless person living on the street, or the mother who is dying from aids in Africa?
And what if I have become so focused on my goals, my achievements, my success, my education, my money that I fail to see the needs of others? Others that are unable to help themselves.
And what if I get upset because I feel God has not blessed me like he has the person sitting next to me in church? Is that what Christianity is about, me being blessed?
And what if the gospel is more than just a bumper sticker formula as Pastor Scott put it.
What if the gospel is real and raw? It does have the power to heal, to save, to restore, to bring hope to a dying world who are lost.
And what if being lost is defined by more than just someone living in sin who doesn't go to church? What if being lost is truly defined by what it is... being lost from God and stumbling around trying to find their way back home, their way back to Him. Not because of their sin, but because their is no one out there to help them find their way home.
"I have found my way... you are on your own."
What if?
Friday, January 23, 2009
Very cliche....
I have been thinking a lot lately about life, and one's purpose in life. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have been reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren... very cliche I know. However, the book has prompted me to think about things more in depth.
One thing that has really been on my mind lately is dealing with other people. One of the chapter discussions pertains to our jobs and how they are not meant to define us. Rather, our jobs are more about interacting and creating relationships with the people we work with. Coming to this realization has helped me to be more tolerant of others, another cliche I know.
In the last few days I have had several run ins with store clerks, store managers and secretaries that normally would have truly annoyed me. Upon my initial meeting them I felt that these people were not appropriate for the positions they were in because a) they did not act professional enough or b) they were not intelligent enough. However, it was as if my eyes were opened and I began to see them as a person and not just as a clerk, or a manager or a secretary. I began to treat them with a little more dignity, respect and kindness.
I love how God is able to take these meaningless encounters with people to transform my whole life... it's truly incredible.
One thing that has really been on my mind lately is dealing with other people. One of the chapter discussions pertains to our jobs and how they are not meant to define us. Rather, our jobs are more about interacting and creating relationships with the people we work with. Coming to this realization has helped me to be more tolerant of others, another cliche I know.
In the last few days I have had several run ins with store clerks, store managers and secretaries that normally would have truly annoyed me. Upon my initial meeting them I felt that these people were not appropriate for the positions they were in because a) they did not act professional enough or b) they were not intelligent enough. However, it was as if my eyes were opened and I began to see them as a person and not just as a clerk, or a manager or a secretary. I began to treat them with a little more dignity, respect and kindness.
I love how God is able to take these meaningless encounters with people to transform my whole life... it's truly incredible.
Monday, January 19, 2009
The dreaded question
The other day a friend and I conversed about Christianity. They are of the persuasion that all roads lead to Heaven. Had I had this discussion with them 5 years ago I would have inevitably asked that great question, sure to bring a sinner to their knees "If you died tonight, do you know where you'd go?"
This particular question was posed before me at the end of every youth group meeting I attended. And each week it scared the hell out of me... I could see the flames of hell licking at my feet. I prayed "Please God, please let me go to Heaven if I die tonight." But what if I walked out the door and for a split second doubted God's existence and in that same second was hit by a bus, then surely I was going to go to Hell. I tried hard not to let my mind even question God's existence out of fear... I just had to believe, I JUST HAD TO, because I didn't know when my time would be up.
Fear is no way to instill faith in people. Jesus didn't use fear to persuade his followers. Instead he spoke truth and that truth brought light. We all know the story of Thomas. Jesus never said to Thomas "Thomas, if you died tonight, do you know where you would go?" Instead, he allowed Thomas to have his doubts. It was in Thomas' doubting that he became a seeker. He sought after Jesus, because he was seeking truth.
Many people doubt, and seek. I believe God wants us to seek, even if it sometimes takes us away from Him. It is in the seeking when we find God and then we either choose to believe or not believe.
I did not ask my friend that question, instead I wished them luck on their spiritual journey and said a quiet prayer for them.
This particular question was posed before me at the end of every youth group meeting I attended. And each week it scared the hell out of me... I could see the flames of hell licking at my feet. I prayed "Please God, please let me go to Heaven if I die tonight." But what if I walked out the door and for a split second doubted God's existence and in that same second was hit by a bus, then surely I was going to go to Hell. I tried hard not to let my mind even question God's existence out of fear... I just had to believe, I JUST HAD TO, because I didn't know when my time would be up.
Fear is no way to instill faith in people. Jesus didn't use fear to persuade his followers. Instead he spoke truth and that truth brought light. We all know the story of Thomas. Jesus never said to Thomas "Thomas, if you died tonight, do you know where you would go?" Instead, he allowed Thomas to have his doubts. It was in Thomas' doubting that he became a seeker. He sought after Jesus, because he was seeking truth.
Many people doubt, and seek. I believe God wants us to seek, even if it sometimes takes us away from Him. It is in the seeking when we find God and then we either choose to believe or not believe.
I did not ask my friend that question, instead I wished them luck on their spiritual journey and said a quiet prayer for them.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Disciple
A great friend will tell you the truth even when it hurts. A great friend will prod you to do something even when you get lazy and don't want to do it. A great friend will help you to discover who you are and bring light to your talents and abilities. A great friend is hard to find in this world. They are an endless source of undiscoverd treasure when you find them.
My great friend has reminded me more than once that I am more than just a pencil pusher and a cube dweller... it is easier though to hide under this guise than to actually do the things that God has instilled in me to do.
And so this brings me to the subject of discipleship, the fulfillment of the Great Commission. Perhaps, creating disciples is not about having all of the answers. Perhaps it is saying "Let's embark on this journey together. Let's grow and discover God together. Sometimes I will have the answers and the encouragement that you need, and sometimes you will have the answers and the encouragement I need." If I were to wait until I had all of the answers before engaging anyone in any sort of spiritual conversation then that day will never come and I will have robbed myself and others of the opportunity to discover new things.
I don't have all of the answers, and more often than not I struggle with my faith, but it is in the seeking and stumbling and searching that I truly discover God. This I believe is the greatest testimony any believer of Christ can offer. This is what is right for me.
My great friend has reminded me more than once that I am more than just a pencil pusher and a cube dweller... it is easier though to hide under this guise than to actually do the things that God has instilled in me to do.
And so this brings me to the subject of discipleship, the fulfillment of the Great Commission. Perhaps, creating disciples is not about having all of the answers. Perhaps it is saying "Let's embark on this journey together. Let's grow and discover God together. Sometimes I will have the answers and the encouragement that you need, and sometimes you will have the answers and the encouragement I need." If I were to wait until I had all of the answers before engaging anyone in any sort of spiritual conversation then that day will never come and I will have robbed myself and others of the opportunity to discover new things.
I don't have all of the answers, and more often than not I struggle with my faith, but it is in the seeking and stumbling and searching that I truly discover God. This I believe is the greatest testimony any believer of Christ can offer. This is what is right for me.
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